I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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