I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
is it fun? or sober?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
