i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
