why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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