yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
