You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
