I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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