Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize