Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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