How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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