I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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