brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
