tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
