yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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