the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
