It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
