I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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