Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
