In the future we'll all be gay
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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