i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
