she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
