i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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