Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
