I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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