I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
