shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
