If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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