You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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