He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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