Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
