This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
