I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
