How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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