Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize