How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
