it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize