when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize