at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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