billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
