you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
