I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
