too bad you live with your parents still
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
