Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
