I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
