I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
