I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize