Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
