Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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