Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
"it" just moved
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
