whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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