He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Boobs are out for the taking
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we're so committed to being not committed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize