hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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