He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
