I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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