Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
this hospital has no fireball
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
