I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
