i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
