69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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