He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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