**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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