two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
