whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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