Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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