so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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