Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
