I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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