he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
