Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
