so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize