Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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