the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
