My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
